Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Cheers to all the fake bitches


Cheers to all the fake bitches

The only reason I smile at you is because I have something evil in mind for you
The sole reason I speak to you is so I can know your weakness and be able to easily use it against you
I am not evil but I’m allergic to people like you;
Fake, stuck-up and conceited is just so you


So I am looking through your window with my binoculars
Seeing you all getting dressed up is excruciatingly ridiculous
But I am just wondering if I should wait for you to be taking out the trash and run you over
After that I could just cover
Because you aint even my damn lover


Finally I have a plan for you malevolent bitch
All I have to do is throw you in a horrendous ditch
And watch you scream in your insufferably high pitch
Because this girl right here just turned into the gruesome witch 

Monday, 24 September 2012

Consequences of my actions


Consequences of my actions (Elementary school)




The next months were horrible as I tried to regain my confidence in culinary class but Miss June was never pleased. She loved Kelly, Marley and Cat’s work she even gave them goodies after class but she picked on me and Olive regularly. Mostly Olive, she was always picked on because she had this timid look but I was always there for her. With Miss June everything was always wrong with works of me, olive and Ki.
Gosh I hated her. Mostly this term we had moved together with Olive from the rich estates into a suburb house and she made it a point to make sure everyone knew we leaving in outskirts now. Miss June talked regularly how I, olive and Ki were poor and she did not even bother Lizzie or the twins or even Twat. In fact to her, the twins were just full of praise full stop. Oh and precious Misky she was as praised as the twins and Cat.

One time Miss June however crossed the line. My dad had taken us for visa interviews as we had predicted to leave the country later in the year but staff had settled as time flew by. So we were late and my dad brought us in a taxi. “Your dad is a taxi driver, no wonder,” she went on. This was it no one talked about my dad. If you wanted to cross the point do it. My dad was as humble as a gazelle he harmed no one so if you wanted war, you had to bring it on good; she did not.
Later that evening I fetched her son from kindergarten and gave him a serious thrashing. I spanked him till he could not take no more and then I felt I had my revenge. Next time I would not take it out on the kid, I would fight back verbally but for now I was gladly ready for the consequences. Nothing came.

My confidence was still struggling even after this so I and Olive dared to pounce on Havaz in spite his dangerous reputation. After school we walked past his gate as we were neighbors and began to throw stones over his wall and when he came out we would ran. However Olive made a mistake and screamed out his name as we ran off. He recognized it and Olive was in for it the next day.
Excited about our accomplishment we excitedly told Kelly but she instead ignored and walked away with a glint of fear in her eyes. Everyone was scared of Havaz, Deacon and François but we had dared. Yes I Holly Ahoy and Olive Miognion attempted and we didn’t care about the consequences because we were go getters.
Havaz walked towards Olive breathing heavily and I could see her shake despite her immobility. I stood helplessly beside her. “I know what you did you creeps,” he bellowed and the whole class shivered as we remained speechless.
Then something magical happened. Francois stood up pulled him away, “You punk, we don’t fight girls,” and with this they laughed. People stared admirably at us because they knew no one could dare mess with Havaz but we stayed muted as we now knew we had finally gained new confidence and inspiration.

I could not wait for this year’s Christmas bonanza my mum was getting back on her feet after we moved and I wanted the best dress. My birthday was supposed to be a success this year to prove I was somewhere and it had not because of variable changes so Christmas Bonanza was going to be the catch. I got it; the pretty Cinderella/ Barbie dress and it came with the best present but no one noticed.
 I wanted to host the event with Olive but they could not let us so Cat hosted the event as usual and the rest of us were in dark light.
By now we were back as old friends with no hard feelings; me, Olive, Ki and Lizzie no matter what happened maybe we really were sisters for life...


to be continued....

Friday, 21 September 2012

The Next day (Elementary school)





..........The next day was horrible. I was nervous about what to tell Kelly about Cat. As I walked into class I got the biggest shock, Cat was hanging with Lizzie and Ki! Olive late as usual walked in and took her place beside me and we stared in horror destructed and did not notice Kelly walking toward us.
Kelly barely smiled and sighed. “Hmmmm, girls good job” Shocked, we just stared speechless. So wasn’t she mad at the fact that Cat was a snitch or even involved. “But Cat was injured so you are officially underdogs”. Our smiles stifled. What! All this risky business and we just get under dogs whilst Lizzie and Ki skate away with the round kitten.
They were even way too broke to hang with the round kitten as we now secretly named Cat.

Days and months went by and no one spoke to me and Olive. Cat and Lizzie became close buddies and Kelly started sneaking in a little candy for Olive as they were in the same house.
Now house was a competition kind of like junior cheerleading only in Olympics and that entire gymnastic staff.
Even our class teacher Miss Hurricane who was always screaming, “Grade two girls shut up” as her daily routine to the extent that she begun to have those as part of her dreams or rather nightmares -too begun to despise us for our mean act. And to be honest Miss H was just the beginning because all my life it was a teacher me battle…..

Any way about Kelly sneaking candy, that meant me, Olive and Lizzie were now eating candy but we were still underdogs whatsoever. Soon Easter past together with my birthday and everyone got their egg baskets, Halloween passed too and finally it was Christmas Bonanza before school ended.
Still no one talked to me but Kelly and Olive were getting along well enough after house competition.

Now it was a school tradition to hang out at Lizzie’s gardens after school even if we did not talk! Her father had insisted it was good tradition and we should keep it up. So Ki hung with Lizzie and me with Olive but never did the two parties mix.
However, on this magical Thursday after school I was crossing the road to go to Lizzie’s when a motor bike crossed me and threw me down. Lizzie and Ki were playing but they stopped and rushed to me. Olive ran back home to call mum.
Lizzie said the most amazing thing; “Holly please don’t die we are sisters we practically grew up together, I will miss having someone on my neck.” Ki also cried and nodded.
Wow! The accident was not even serious but the most important thing is these girls who I had just bullied were now pledging to be sisters forever; talk about junior sororities.

That soon became the class news and the most amazing thing happened, Cat spoke to me for the first time, Lizzie and Ki were real sisters to me as vowed at my cliché near death.
But not Kelly or Marley; Oh at least Marley smiled. Kelly just did not like me and the feeling begun to be mutual as time went on.
After this I talked to everyone including Meg and Cord the two class punching bags but this only lasted for a while.
Anyway Christmas Bonanza came and the party hosts were Cat, Cherish and Mac as usual everything went great for everyone except Ki who got a small present and was picked on for the rest of her years at Berenson Prep School. (BPS)

The year went by and so did some kids. It was a small class of about eighteen and easy to remember everyone; okay at least I remember about ten children including Meg and Cord, Kelly, Marley, Cat , Cherish and Mac (who left after second grade because the school turned out too cheap for them), Lizzie, Olive, Ki, Carolyn, Francois, Derek and the of course me. The rest I can only remember the faces.
This year I was determined to shift from underdog to popular. Unlike Carolyn who was a bag carrier yet a monitor and had been so since kindergarten we did not want to end up like that. I and Olive were go getters.

So an opportunity came with new kids and this was our chance to prove our worth. Misky, Lorna, Megan and Trat were the new kids along with Havaz who turned out to be a repeater and our next door neighbor.
 Deacon was also another repeater they were rebounding third grade and they were ‘no mess with me freaks because I have been their done that.’
 Also Rig and Colin who were obviously new to the country because of their excitement for rain baffled us. They were Syrians. So they were a no go zone too.
 Lorna and Megan were special kids so we had a limit. Actually they both had leukemia.

So it was down to Misky and Trat. Misky however had her favors with Cat and Marley as I sadly found out that day she was smart yet rich and pretty so it was okay for her to choose. She did not choose however. She wanted to be friends with everyone as much as Cat but only Cat did not have the guts to say no to Kelly and Marley.
 Everyone from the teacher, Miss Jacques to Kelly found her adorable. Gosh I hated her until I got to know her four days later she was sweet and very intelligent. Now she took the first position from Cat; Cat was second, me third and Olive fourth then the rest followed.
Now it was just me, Ki, Olive and Trat we stared at her as if in victory. She smiled but we did not.
This time, we were determined to be mean. As Ki did her research Trat was broke; she lived in trailer houses so we were closing in on her, she was the perfect candidate for our man slaughter.


She flinched but no one cared. She was a no body after all. Then she was saved by the bell.
Miss Jacques came in and we took our sits.
She was not as nice as Miss Hurricane but she was funny. She made mean jokes only the mean girls understood too well. Me, Kelly, Olive and Ki laughed but no one else did.
Trat was tiny; tinier than me who was the class stick before her. She was also the youngest. Everyone was 8-9 except Cat of course and Trat who was 7.This meant she was easily bully able.
We waited almost impatiently as Miss J drugged on with her infamous rich jokes then something unexpected happened. Carolyn ran up to her and begged if she could run out to use the loo. Miss J almost smiled then she ignored and walked away. Carolyn shivered but only she knew too well that it was the last kicks of a dying horse. Everyone knew Miss J detested being interrupted especially by petty kids like Carolyn Young.
A minute seemed like an hour and Carolyn did not move and we all knew too well what was to come…..she wet her pants. Trat breathed in selfish relief.

Trat breathed because she knew the attention would be shifted from her to Carol. Carol burst out crying and ran out knowing that it was over for her. Miss J shouted after her, “Bring back a mop”. Kelly smiled and she knew she had work to do after class. I smiled too but she disregarded it. Olive held my hand reassuringly and we ignored Trat’s weird look.
The bell went and Kelly couldn’t wait. “She’s all yours”. Fluttered we smiled nervously and ran to the playground to look for Carol. As third graders we did not have any more free afternoons to hang at Lizzie’s as we had evening class till 4pm so free time was playground or library time till the school bus came for those who did not have cars to pick and drop them at school.

Carol was under the slides. “Don’t disturb me” she hissed out her famous phrase but we were determined. We lifted her up with a big fight and held her facing her back so everyone could see that she had wet her pants. Some laughed but the older kids in 5th or 6th grade shook their heads. Kelly gave us a proud nod and walked away. Ki surprisingly did not cringe even when everyone knew her and Carol had been friends since kindergarten.
Carol was yet to face her night mares because the twins were to remove her from monitor to loser.
 Everyone knew that peeing in class whether in kindergarten or 2nd grade was beginning of loser- dom and with this title you could never even change your name. Poor Carol.

After recess was done we walked to Kelly and Marley and they deliberately flouted our smiles. “Your officially mean girls” she said. Not populars; just mean girls. Francois, Havaz and Deacon were mean but not popular.
Mean guys did not exactly belong anywhere because they were just too mean for that stuff. God was she implying we hung out with these three monsters with anger management issues?
Just last week Deacon got mad and stubbed Francois with a compass needle and there was an ugly fight. No this was bad. But Kelly was not finished, “That means your quarter way to being popular now go get Trat”. Ki almost ran, Olive loud mouthed as usual stormed after Marley since she was easier to negotiate with but me I remained frozen because Trat was right in front of me when I turned.
God I had this chance but I was edgy. Cat and Misky stared in my direction disapprovingly but I snubbed. “Hey new girl, pick-up this” I said dropping crumpled paper to the floor. She did not pick it she walked away.

Outraged and embarrassed I almost followed her when there was an announcement about new subjects for term two. We had culinary artisan and that meant more drama or even worse karma.
Trat walked to me right after this and I almost slapped her for humiliating me but she started before me. “I am sorry but Misky and Cat told me not to listen to anything you say,” she said with fear in her eyes.
What! It took me one year for Cat to even say “excuse me” to me and now she was chatting up Twat. Now I was mad.
I ignored her petty apologies and went off to tell Kelly to my disenchantment she waved me off and said she was disappointed I had failed.

Disappointed?! Was she missing the point here; Cat was a snitch by all orders of popular girls and Kelly treated it like it was an illusion I created to frame Cat and take her throne! And about Misky she did not even comment I think she was starting to adore her as much as Cat. “I quit” I cried out after her.
She turned sharply and almost screamed but calmly managed a harsh whisper instead, “You can’t quit you tiny freak this is not a class, it’s a world order, no, quit and you will be grouped with the retards or bag carriers.” With this, she was gone.
Everyone looked at me and said nothing I was too shocked to reply and I thought I saw Twat as I called her now smile....


To be continued......

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Continuation of Diva Fever (Elementary School)


Elementary School
Part 2: loser much?

This entire harsh game thing built up in elementary school as far as I can remember; Berenson Prep School. Every popular who got the candy in class was always at the top of the game and I was not one of them. I was seven years old.
Ironically, this non trick-o-treating event was supposed to be for the most intelligent kids in school and I sure as hell was always top four in class but conveniently as it was given to the monitor who was so fixated with the idea of getting close to the “populars”, we the non populars did not get any.
Yes “we”. I was just an ordinary girl in second grade given the fact that I had just moved to this school.
Life was not promising any ease for me but I had bigger things to worry about. I did not get the candy yet I had to perform some rituals that the popular girls set for new students before they finally grouped them.
These groups were; weirdo’s, poor guys, retards, populars, smart kids , bag carriers/losers, under dogs and even pretty girls slash those who chose where they wanted to belong as much as the rich kids.
These had privileges of not performing any perilous acts. They proved their worth by wearing pearls and their parents driving expensive cars to school.

Yes I remember them all well. Cat McGuffey (the main boss) and the twins Kelly and Marley Risqué. Speak of the devil itself and it will sneak up on you and strangle you to death in your sleep. These were the evil twins who held the scrolls while Cat just looked on. In fact, Cat was not a mean girl the twins made her queen bee on our year calendar because she was rich and the rest of us well we were struggling. In earnest, Cat was just a tall chubby rich kid who could pass for a no body in any other private school. She was also the oldest in the class. Everyone else was 7 or 8 but she was 10.  Points to it she was also an “A” grader and she had also been to many countries which was a big deal. The twins were not rich but the fact that they were the pioneers and started the mean girl routine counted.
Also I learnt Marley was not that evil she just always had to have her twin sister’s back as much as me and Olive. They snatched candy from Carolyn and ate it all without even giving her. It was always for Cat, Kelly, Marley, Mac and Cherish (the richest kids in our class and probably top richest in the whole school; I mean they had a Porsche convertible with a television inside and that was the top up for those days). The rest of us grudgingly watched as they munched and giggled on how Cat and Cherish were rich and funny.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
Soon pledges were up and our first task before they grouped us came. These groups were mean and you were stuck with it till you proved your worth. The first task was stealing a deck from and coming with it to school to prove you had a deck. This showed power those days. I mean the tape deck of course.
I waited as my mum went in to shower and I snatched the deck in my little thin hands without looking back, I thrust it into my bag and walked hurriedly to the bus.
Once at school I could hear and see Lizzie being grilled for not having a deck.
“So where is the deck?” belched Kelly and Cherish as Lizzie begun to tear.
I could see Cat backing out as usual but never dared to oppose. Mac slummed at the desk and sniffed the unbearably choky air. “Hmm Lizzie and I thought Holly was a dead pun poor brook.” For the first time since I joined school I smiled as I handed over the heavy bag with the deck and almost did not care about Lizzie’s sad face although we were family friends who had grown up in the same neighborhood.

Mac was pleased and he ignored Kelly’s surprised expression. “Task accomplished, you may proceed with the second,” said Kelly grudgingly. I smiled but no one smiled back except Cat.
She was like a round lazy house cat that looked on the whole day not chasing any mice but somehow got a large meal at dinner for doing nothing and just being adorable.
 I walked to my seat and soon enough I saw my mum pull her car at the parking. Oh my God she noticed the deck was missing. I jumped out of my seat and faked a faint. The next thing I deliberately remember is mum asking me never to sign up for those pledges again.
But you just wait for the next pledge.
We called it home raid. No I could not miss that one. We went into our competitor’s home and fished out all their belongings that linked them to poverty and elimination for the run as miss popular number 4.


Having known Lizzie all our lives me, Kavas Ki and Olive decided to raid her house. It was evil as we knew she was living with a struggling single father.
 We raided her house and made a list of all the bad things that afternoon but later as Kavas Ki left we followed her and to our great joy she was indeed even worse off than Lizzie.
Oh! Kelly would be proud.
Olive was my first cousin and BFF so we sure as hell never split ways ever.
Unfortunately, as we left Kavas Ki’s flat, Cat’s mother drove by us slowly and smiled.
We instinctively knew we were in trouble.

She had followed us because Cat had told her we were up to no good. Now we were to face Mr. Grotto, Lizzie’s dad and Ms. Ki. Oh no this meant my dad was to be involved too as he knew both parents.
The adults had a long chat and Cat ignored me and Olive. She was a snitch and Kelly should know; I thought naively... But oh the way the twins adored her was sickening. They were not even identical.
Kelly was pretty and smart whilst Marley was almost plain and daft.
Soon the meeting that seemed like an eternity ended and no one said a word, I ran out of the study room to meet dad and he did not smile.
 “This has to end Holly and Olive” that is all he said and walked away. Mother would know and be upset, for that I was sure.
Cat left and it was just me and Olive. She tried to smile reassuringly but we both knew there was nothing to smile about. She left.
Lucky for her she did not stay with her parents, just her big sister of 25 who did not care to lecture anyone. She just said “Oh boy” and walked away in every situation.......

to be continued....